I can't say enough good things about my band. I feel very fortunate that I found them when I did, very early in my career. Not only are they just great, nice guys; they're some of the best musicians you're likely to find. They do everything from gangsta rap to polka music and every genre in between. It's amazing.

Pop culture's gotten much more disposable.

My velvet Elvis means the world to me. Although he may not be worth much dough, he means more to me than some old Rembrandt or Van Gogh.

Ever since the day you left me, I've been so miserable, my dear. I feel almost as bad as I did when you were still here.

I write and write and write, and then I edit it down to the parts that I think are amusing, or that help the storyline, or I'll write a notebook full of ideas of anecdotes or story points, and then I'll try and arrange them in a way that they would tell a semi-cohesive story.

I'm just a no-good, scum sucking, nose picking, boot licking, sniveling, groveling, worthless hunk of slime.

Velvet Elvis never puts on weight.