Since both its national products, snow and chocolate, melt, the cuckoo clock was invented solely in order to give tourists something solid to remember it by.

All I know of birds to this date is that sparrows are the ones that are not pigeons.

I sometimes wonder if the manufacturers of foolproof items keep a fool or two on their payroll to test things.

Being a personality is not the same thing as having a personality.

To have a grievance is to have a purpose in life.

Television is more interesting than people. If it were not we should have people standing in the corner of our room.

10.30 Newsnight: What Are The Chances Of World War Three Breaking Out After You Have Gone To Bed?