Can anything match that first fine discovery of the telephone and all it stood for? That first realization that, contained within ten simple digits, lay the infinitely possible? Out there ... lay six billion ears, all the people in the world available for contact and mystery and insult, unable to resist the beckoning of one small and villainous forefinger.

Being a personality is not the same thing as having a personality.

The role of humour is to make people fall down and writhe on the Axminster, and that is the top and bottom of it.

Can anything match that first fine discovery of the telephone and all it stood for? That first realization that, contained within ten simple digits, lay the infinitely possible? Out there ... lay six billion ears, all the people in the world available for contact and mystery and insult, unable to resist the beckoning of one small and villainous forefinger.

All I know of birds to this date is that sparrows are the ones that are not pigeons.

I sometimes wonder if the manufacturers of foolproof items keep a fool or two on their payroll to test things.

Jacob is a German Shepherd. (I have never understood why they aren't called German Sheepdogs. What do the Germans call shepherds?)