Failure doesn't have anything to do with your intrinsic value as a person.

The individual is taught that there is nothing that he as a total person is to feel ashamed of or self-hating for.

People don't just get upset. They contribute to their upsetness. They always have the power to think, and to think about their thinking, and to think about thinking about their thinking, which the goddamn dolphin, as far as we know, can't do. Therefore they have much greater ability to change themselves than any other animal has.

Let's suppose somebody abused you sexually. You still had a choice, though not a good one, about what to tell yourself about the abuse.

If people stopped looking on their emotions as ethereal, almost inhuman processes, and realistically viewed them as being largely composed of perceptions, thoughts, evaluations, and internalized sentences, they would find it quite possible to work calmly and concertedly at changing them.

Most people would have given up when faced with all the criticism I've received over the years.

Most things worth having require some sacrifice, usually more than you expect.