First off, I have to mention what is undoubtedly the greatest phenomenon of the modern era: All You Can Eat Buffets.

People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it's safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs.

However, my problems with my memory are further complicated by the fact that while I don't have any recollection of things I have actually done, I have very vivid recollections of loads of things that I haven't done.

I wanted to write about how people's beliefs shift.

If you travel to the States... they have a lot of different words than like what we use. For instance: they say 'elevator', we say 'lift'; they say 'drapes', we say 'curtains'; they say 'president', we say 'seriously deranged git.'

I feel sorry for many politicians we expect them to be completely consistent and moralised when we're not.

If I won the lottery I'd start a charity that helped little family hardware stores, cobblers and fruit shops open in city centres.