People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it's safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs.

The optimum frequency with which comedians should do a series is every year. I do one every three years. My audience is literally dying off.

Americans have different ways of saying things. They say 'elevator', we say 'lift'... they say 'President', we say 'stupid psychopathic git.

Dire Straits is a great band. Someone tells you they like ""Brothers in Arms"" and immediately you know they're a stupid annoying git.

It seems easier to make a career out of comedy now than it was in the 1980s.

I think that my ideas of the world are that it's random and cruel but kind of quite comical really, and therefore the humour, in a sense, springs from that.

Now, as a comic, if you're vaguely amusing you can go straight into TV, then you play the O2 and then everyone's sick of you.