You can't do comedy with a beard.

People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it's safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs.

Americans have different ways of saying things. They say 'elevator', we say 'lift'... they say 'President', we say 'stupid psychopathic git.

The optimum frequency with which comedians should do a series is every year. I do one every three years. My audience is literally dying off.

Everyone I used to work with is still alive and can afford expensive lawyers.

For me, the showbiz memoir is uninteresting - you want to tell people something they don't know about.

I did six series for the BBC and that was enough. I've been writing for ten years, which is more challenging artistically.