You can't do comedy with a beard.

I have a lot of nice Italian winter clothes that make me look like a sophisticated Lebanese professor, so my friend Robert and I go around pretending to be experts in Arabic politics. It doesn't work in the summer though. I don't have the right clothes.

First off, I have to mention what is undoubtedly the greatest phenomenon of the modern era: All You Can Eat Buffets.

But as in all cults, what's central to the Communist Party is the belief system and the elimination of nuance. From there you're very slowly led down the road to fanaticism and mass murder.

For me, the showbiz memoir is uninteresting - you want to tell people something they don't know about.

It seems easier to make a career out of comedy now than it was in the 1980s.

People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it's safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs.