In short, with each of the thousand-and-one problems that present themselves in family life, our choice is between controlling and teaching, between creating an atmosphere of distrust and one of trust, between setting an example of power and helping children to learn responsibility, between quick-fix parenting and the kind that's focused on long-term goals.
Alfie KohnSaying you taught it but the student didn't learn it is like saying you sold it but the customer didn't buy it.
Alfie KohnThe overwhelming number of teachers ...are unable to name or describe a theory of learning that underlies what they do.
Alfie KohnYou have to give them unconditional love. They need to know that even if they screw up, you love them. You don't want them to grow up and resent you or, even worse, parent the way you parented them.
Alfie Kohn