Independence is useful, but caring attitudes and behaviors shrivel up in a culture where each person is responsible only for himself.

Punishments and rewards are two sides of the same coin and that coin doesn't buy you much.

Some who support [more] coercive strategies assume that children will run wild if they are not controlled. However, the children for whom this is true typically turn out to be those accustomed to being controlled— those who are not trusted, given explanations, encouraged to think for themselves, helped to develop and internalize good values, and so on. Control breeds the need for more control, which is used to justify the use of control.

Being a team player should not imply a demand for simple obedience and conformity.

There are different kinds of motivation, and the kind matters more than the amount.

The legendary statistical consultant W. Edwards Deming, . . . has called the system by which merit is appraised and rewarded 'the most powerful inhibitor to quality and productivity in the Western world' . . . it is simply unfair to the extent that employees are held responsible for what are, in reality, systemic factors that are beyond their control.

If children feel safe, they can take risks, ask questions, make mistakes, learn to trust, share their feelings, and grow.