Non-cooperative approaches, by contrast, almost always involve duplication of effort, since someone working independently must spend time and skills on problems that already have been encountered and overcome by someone else. A technical hitch, for example, is more likely to be solved quickly and imaginatively if scientists (including scientists from different countries) pool their talents rather than compete against one another.

If unconditional love and genuine enthusiasm are present, praise isn't necessary. If they're absent, praise won't help.

How can we do our best when we are spending our energies trying to make others lose - and fearing that they will make us lose?

Children learn how to make good decisions by making decisions, not by following directions.

When we do things that are controlling, whether intentional or not, we are not going to get those long-term outcomes.

If I offered you a thousand dollars to take off your shoes, you'd very likely accept--and then I could triumphantly announce that 'rewards work.' But as with punishments, they can never help someone develop a *commitment* to a task or action, a reason to keep doing it when there's no longer a payoff.

Saying you taught it but the student didn't learn it is like saying you sold it but the customer didn't buy it.