To control students is to force them to accommodate to a preestablished curriculum.

When we do things that are controlling, whether intentional or not, we are not going to get those long-term outcomes.

Some who support [more] coercive strategies assume that children will run wild if they are not controlled. However, the children for whom this is true typically turn out to be those accustomed to being controlled— those who are not trusted, given explanations, encouraged to think for themselves, helped to develop and internalize good values, and so on. Control breeds the need for more control, which is used to justify the use of control.

Trying to do well and trying to beat others are two different things. Excellence and victory are conceptually distinct . . . and are experienced differently.

Children, after all, are not just adults-in-the-making. They are people whose current needs and rights and experiences must be taken seriously.

To control students is to force them to accommodate to a preestablished curriculum.

How we feel about our kids isn't as important as how they experience those feelings and how they regard the way we treat them.