Some who support [more] coercive strategies assume that children will run wild if they are not controlled. However, the children for whom this is true typically turn out to be those accustomed to being controlled— those who are not trusted, given explanations, encouraged to think for themselves, helped to develop and internalize good values, and so on. Control breeds the need for more control, which is used to justify the use of control.

How we feel about our kids isn't as important as how they experience those feelings and how they regard the way we treat them.

In some suburban schools, the curriculum is chock-full of rigorous A.P. courses and the parking lot glitters with pricey SUVs, but one doesn't have to look hard to find students who are starving themselves, cutting themselves, or medicating themselves, as well students who are taking out their frustrations on those who sit lower on the social food chain.

If faculty would relax their emphasis on grades, this might serve not to lower standards but to encourage an orientation toward learning.

Very few things are as dangerous as a bunch of incentive-driven individuals trying to play it safe.

The value of a book about dealing with children is inversely proportional to the number of times it contains the word behavior.

If unconditional love and genuine enthusiasm are present, praise isn't necessary. If they're absent, praise won't help.