Some who support [more] coercive strategies assume that children will run wild if they are not controlled. However, the children for whom this is true typically turn out to be those accustomed to being controlledโ those who are not trusted, given explanations, encouraged to think for themselves, helped to develop and internalize good values, and so on. Control breeds the need for more control, which is used to justify the use of control.
Alfie KohnWe learn most readily, most naturally, most effectively, when we start with the big picture - precisely when the basics don't come first.
Alfie KohnThose who know they're valued irrespective of their accomplishments often end up accomplishing quite a lot. It's the experience of being accepted without conditions that helps people develop a healthy confidence in themselves, a belief that it's safe to take risks and try new things.
Alfie KohnThe late W. Edwards Deming, guru of Quality management, once declared, 'The most important things we need to manage can't be measured.' If thatโs true of what we need to manage, it should be even more obvious that itโs true of what we need to teach.
Alfie KohnNon-cooperative approaches, by contrast, almost always involve duplication of effort, since someone working independently must spend time and skills on problems that already have been encountered and overcome by someone else. A technical hitch, for example, is more likely to be solved quickly and imaginatively if scientists (including scientists from different countries) pool their talents rather than compete against one another.
Alfie Kohn