The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder.

In the old days villains had moustaches and kicked the dog. Audiences are smarter today. They don't want their villain to be thrown at them with green limelight on his face. They want an ordinary human being with failings.

Revenge is sweet and not fattening.

Claude Jade is a brave nice young lady. But I don't give any guarantee what she will do on a taxi's back seat.

Really, the novelist has the best casting since he doesn't have to cope with the actors and all the rest. -Alfred Hitchcock

Reality is something that none of us can stand, at any time.

These are bagpipes. I understand the inventor of the bagpipes was inspired when he saw a man carrying an indignant, asthmatic pig under his arm. Unfortunately, the man-made sound never equalled the purity of the sound achieved by the pig.