Give me lace and whiskey, Mama's own remedy.

You ain't no Hepburn and I ain't no Fonda, but if you were drowning in Golden Ponda, mouth to mouth I'd resuscitate you.

God gives you a life and says, 'Okay, what are you going to do with it?'

Yet I was Marilyn Manson - times 10.

Never be late. When you're late, what you're saying is that your time is more important than the other person's time. That's pretty egotistical.

It used to be said: As GM goes, so goes America. Now it's: As Starbucks goes, so goes America.

What most people don't understand is that UFOs are on a cosmic tourist route. That's why they're always seen in Arizona, Scotland, and New Mexico. Another thing to consider is that all three of those destinations are good places to play golf. So there's possibly some connection between aliens and golf.