Watching news showing all the same sex marriages. How long before first same sex divorce?

I was on the highway - I saw the scariest thing in the world, man. I saw an Asian driving an SUV. Really, I just drove my car right into the guardrail, figured I'd save him some time.

I ride because there’s nothing like in the world. It’s a passion. It’s something I absolutely have to do and I can never imagine not doing it.

Women like jewelry. They're like racoons: show them some shiny stuff and they'll follow you home.

In a relationship you have to communicate, which means listening to her talk. Ladies, you fake orgasms. We fake listening.

Scientists are trying to invent Viagra for women. It's been along for years... it's called cash.

There are three goals for any comedian: to make a living as a comedian; I've been fortunate to do that. To make a name for yourself and to be famous would be great - because it would give me that freedom.