I don't like conservatives. They always talk about the good old days. I'm black, we have no good old days.

I grew up in the suburbs. I'm an angry suburban nergo. I'm bad in, like, Starbucks. I'll hurt you over a frappuccino.

Scientists are trying to invent Viagra for women. It's been along for years... it's called cash.

I work out with alot of gay guys at the gym. I do, because my only goal is to get into gay shape. Now, you know what I'm talking about. Gay men are the most ripped kind of... listen... I don't know how strong you have to be to blow a guy, but I'm guessin', there is some muscle involved.

I have fantasies of burning down an insurance company just so THEY have to make a claim.

Watching news showing all the same sex marriages. How long before first same sex divorce?

There's always something that's going to kill us all. A few years ago, tomatoes were going to kill us and a few years before that it was spinach. The FDA is run by a 7-year-old kid that hates vegetables!