Wit - the salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out.

Distress: A disease incurred by exposure to the prosperity of a friend.

Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.

IGNORAMUS, n. A person unacquainted with certain kinds of knowledge familiar to yourself, and having certain other kinds that you know nothing about.

Advice, the smallest current coin.

LUMINARY, One who throws light upon a subject; as an editor by not writing about it.

Certain old men prefer to rise at dawn, taking a cold bath and a long walk with an empty stomach and otherwise mortifying the flesh. They then point with pride to these practices as the cause of their sturdy health and ripe years; the truth being that they are hearty and old, not because of their habits, but in spite of them. The reason we find only robust persons doing this thing is that it has killed all the others who have tried it.