Friendship: A ship big enough for two in fair weather, but only one in foul.
Quill: An instrument of torture yielded by a goose and commonly weilded by as ass.
Politeness, n: The most acceptable hypocrisy.
PATRIOT, n. One to whom the interests of a part seem superior to those of the whole. The dupe of statesmen and the tool of conquerors.
Custard: A detestable substance produced by a malevolent conspiracy of the hen, the cow, and the cook.
PANDEMONIUM, n. Literally, the Place of All the Demons. Most of them have escaped into politics and finance, and the place is now used as a lecture hall by the Audible Reformer.