PYRRHONISM- An ancient philosophy, named for its inventor. It consisted of an absolute disbelief in everything but Pyrrhonism. Its modern professors have added that.

Opportunity: A favorable occasion for grasping a disappointment.

LEXICOGRAPHER, n. A pestilent fellow who, under the pretense of recording some particular stage in the development of a language, does what he can to arrest its growth, stiffen its flexibility and mechanize its methods.

Forgetfulness - a gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscience.

BEG, v. To ask for something with an earnestness proportioned to the belief that it will not be given.

FORCE, n. "Force is but might," the teacher said p/ "That definition's just."/ The boy said naught but throught instead,/ Remembering his pounded head:/ "Force is not might but must!"

PIE, n. An advance agent of the reaper whose name is Indigestion.