Happiness: an agreeable sensation arising from contemplating the misery of another.
PITIFUL, adj. The state of an enemy or opponent after an imaginary encounter with oneself.
Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs.
ADAGE, n. Boned wisdom for weak teeth.
Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.
HUMORIST, n. A plague that would have softened down the hoar austerity of Pharaoh's heart and persuaded him to dismiss Israel with his best wishes, cat-quick.