REPORTER, n. A writer who guesses his way to the truth and dispels it with a tempest of words.
Ambrose BierceEXISTENCE, n. A transient, horrible, fantastic dream,/ Wherein is nothing yet all things do seem:/ From which we're wakened by a friendly nudge/ Of our bedfellow Death, and cry: "O fudge!"
Ambrose BiercePertaining to a certain order of architecture, otherwise known as Normal American. Most of the public buildings of the United States are of the Ramshackle order, though some of our earlier architects preferred the Ironic. Recent additions to the White House in Washington are Theo-Doric, the ecclesiastic order of the Dorians. They are exceedingly fine and cost one hundred dollars a brick.
Ambrose BierceVote: the instrument and symbol of a freeman's power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.
Ambrose Bierce