TAIL, n. The part of an animal's spine that has transcended its natural limitations to set up an independent existence in a world of its own.

FINANCE, n. The art or science of managing revenues and resources for the best advantage of the manager. The pronunciation of this word with the i long and the accent on the first syllable is one of America's most precious discoveries and possessions.

Architect. One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money.

KING, n. A male person commonly known in America as a "crowned head," although he never wears a crown and has usually no head to speak of.

COMMERCE, n. A kind of transaction in which A plunders from B the goods of C, and for compensation B picks the pocket of D of money belonging to E.

Birth: The first and direst of all disasters.

QUOTIENT, n. A number showing how many times a sum of money belonging to one person is contained in the pocket of another - usually about as many times as it can be got there.