RITUALISM, n. A Dutch Garden of God where He may walk in rectilinear freedom, keeping off the grass.

Loquacity, n. A disorder which renders the sufferer unable to curb his tongue when you wish to talk.

RADIUM, n. A mineral that gives off heat and stimulates the organ that a scientist is a fool with.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

IMPENITENCE, n. A state of mind intermediate in point of time between sin and punishment.

NEWTONIAN, Pertaining to a philosophy of the universe invented by Newton, who discovered that an apple will fall to the ground, but was unable to say why. His successors and disciples have advanced so far as to be able to say when.

R.I.P. A careless abbreviation of "requiescat in pace", attesting to indolent goodwill to the dead. According to the learned Dr. Drigge, however, the letters originally meant nothing more than "reductus in pulvis".