OYSTER, n. A slimy, gobby shellfish which civilization gives men the hardihood to eat without removing its entrails! The shells are sometimes given to the poor.

To apologize is to lay the foundation for a future offense.

Eloquence, n. The art of orally persuading fools that white is the color that it appears to be. It includes the gift of making any color appear white.

Revolution, n. In politics, an abrupt change in the form of misgovernment.

I was born to poor because of honest parents.

Amnesty, n. The state's magnanimity to those offenders whom it would be too expensive to punish.

Dentist: a prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls coin out of your pocket.