IMPROVIDENCE, n. Provision for the needs of to-day from the revenues of to-morrow.

To bother about the best method of accomplishing an accidental result.

Take not God's name in vain; select a time when it will have effect.

TELESCOPE, n. A device having a relation to the eye similar to that of the telephone to the ear, enabling distant objects to plague us with a multitude of needless details. Luckily it is unprovided with a bell summoning us to the sacrifice.

RADICALISM, n. The conservatism of to-morrow injected into the affairs of to-day.

Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.

JESTER, n. An officer attached to the king's household to amuse the court by ludicrous actions and utterances . . . the king's own conduct and decrees [being] sufficiently ridiculous for the amusement not only of his court but of all mankind.