IMPROVIDENCE, n. Provision for the needs of to-day from the revenues of to-morrow.

Work: a dangerous disorder affecting high public functionaries who want to go fishing.

TEETOTALER, n. One who abstains from strong drink, sometimes totally, sometimes tolerably totally.

Clarinet n. An instrument of torture operated by a person with cotton in his ears. There are two instruments worse than a clarinet – two clarinets.

Self-restraint is indulgence of the propensity to forgo.

If you would be accounted great by your contemporaries, be not too much greater than they.

One who, professing virtues that he does not respect, secures the advantage of seeming to be what he despises.