Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.

Nature's fortuitous manifestation of her purposeless objectionableness.

COMMERCE, n. A kind of transaction in which A plunders from B the goods of C, and for compensation B picks the pocket of D of money belonging to E.

You are not permitted to kill a woman who has wronged you, but nothing forbids you to reflect that she is growing older every minute.

OBSOLETE, adj. No longer used by the timid. Said chiefly of words. A word which some lexicographer has marked obsolete is ever thereafter an object of dread and loathing to the fool writer . . .

Religions are conclusions for which the facts of nature supply no major premises.

FINANCE, n. The art or science of managing revenues and resources for the best advantage of the manager. The pronunciation of this word with the i long and the accent on the first syllable is one of America's most precious discoveries and possessions.