Immigrant: An unenlightened person who thinks one country better than another.

To apologize is to lay the foundation for a future offense.

Hippogriff, n. An animal (now extinct) which was half horse and half griffin. The griffin was itself a compound creature, half lion and half eagle. The hippogriff was actually, therefore, only one-quarter eagle, which is two dollars and fifty cents in gold. The study of zoology is full of surprises.

IDLENESS, n. A model farm where the devil experiments with seeds of new sins and promotes the growth of staple vices.

History is an account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools.

Hash, x. There is no definition for this word - nobody knows what hash is. Famous, adj. Conspicuously miserable. Dictionary, n. A malevolent literary device for cramping the growth of a language and making it hard and inelastic. This dictionary, however, is a most useful work.

I never said all Democrats were saloonkeepers. What I said was that all saloonkeepers are Democrats.