RUBBISH, n. Worthless matter, such as the religions, philosophies, literatures, arts and sciences of the tribes infesting the regions lying due south from Boreaplas.

Painting, n.: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather, and exposing them to the critic.

HASH: There is no definition for this word - nobody knows what hash is.

MUGWUMP, n. In politics one afflicted with self-respect and addicted to the vice of independence. A term of contempt.

DIAGNOSIS, n. A physician's forecast of disease by the patient's pulse and purse.

Age is provident because the less future we have the more we fear it.

GUNPOWDER, n. An agency employed by civilized nations for the settlement of disputes which might become troublesome if left unadjusted. By most writers the invention of gunpowder is ascribed to the Chinese, but not upon very convincing evidence. Milton says it was invented by the devil to dispel angels with, and this opinion seems to derive some support from the scarcity of angels.