Gout, a physician's name for the rheumatism of a rich patient

Christian - One who follows the teachings of Christ insofar as they are not inconsistent with a life of sin.

MAGNETISM, n. Something acting upon a magnet. The two definitions immediately foregoing are condensed from the works of one thousand eminent scientists, who have illuminated the subject with a great white light, to the inexpressible advancement of human knowledge.

Custard: A detestable substance produced by a malevolent conspiracy of the hen, the cow, and the cook.

WHANGDEPOOTENAWAH, n. In the Ojibwa tongue, disaster; an unexpected affliction that strikes hard.

optimism, n. The doctrine, or belief, that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly, everything good, especially the bad, and everything right that is wrong. It is held with greatest tenacity by those most accustomed to the mischance of falling into adversity, and is most acceptably expounded with disproof - an intellectual disorder, yielding to no treatment but death. It is hereditary, but fortunately not contagious.

An appellate court which reverses the judgment of a popular author's contemporaries, the appellant being his obscure competitor.