BEGGAR, n. One who has relied on the assistance of his friends.

LINEN, n. "A kind of cloth the making of which, when made of hemp, entails a great waste of hemp."

DEJEUNER, n. The breakfast of an American who has been in Paris. Variously pronounced.

Christian - One who follows the teachings of Christ insofar as they are not inconsistent with a life of sin.

POVERTY, n. A file provided for the teeth of the rats of reform. Its victims are distinguished by possession of all the virtues and by their faith in leaders seeking to conduct them into a prosperity where they believe these to be unknown.

As a means of dispensing formulated ignorance our boasted public school system is not without merit; it spreads out education sufficiently thin to give everyone enough to make him a more competent fool than he would have been without it.

TRUTHFUL, adj. Dumb and illiterate.