CALLOUS, adj. Gifted with great fortitude to bear the evils afflicting another.

The slightest acquaintance with history shows that powerful republics are the most warlike and unscrupulous of nations.

NIHILIST, n. A Russian who denies the existence of anything but Tolstoi. The leader of the school is Tolstoi.

The place whereon the priest formerly raveled out the small intestine of the sacrificial victim for purposes of divination and cooked its flesh for the gods. The word is now seldom used, except with reference to the sacrifice of their liberty and peace by a male and a female fool.

Epitaph: An inscription on a tomb showing that virtues acquired by death have a retroactive effect.

Birth: The first and direst of all disasters.

NEWTONIAN, Pertaining to a philosophy of the universe invented by Newton, who discovered that an apple will fall to the ground, but was unable to say why. His successors and disciples have advanced so far as to be able to say when.