Heaven lies about us in our infancy and the world begins lying about us pretty soon afterward.

Nature's fortuitous manifestation of her purposeless objectionableness.

Brain: an apparatus with which we think that we think. Mind, n. A mysterious form of matter secreted by the brain.

Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.

Responsibility, n. A detachable burden easily shifted to the shoulders of God, Fate, Fortune, Luck or one's neighbor. In the days of astrology it was customary to unload it upon a star.

Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead.

Think twice before you speak to a friend in need