Heaven lies about us in our infancy and the world begins lying about us pretty soon afterward.

A miracle is an act or event out of the order of nature and unaccountable, as beating a normal hand of four kings and an ace with four aces and a king.

Education, n.: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.

Epitaph: An inscription on a tomb showing that virtues acquired by death have a retroactive effect.

REPORTER, n. A writer who guesses his way to the truth and dispels it with a tempest of words.

REVEILLE, n. A signal to sleeping soldiers to dream of battlefields no more, but get up and have their blue noses counted.

Cynic, n: a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be.