In this world one must have a name; it prevents confusion, even when it does not establish identity. Some, though, are known by numbers, which also seem inadequate distinctions.

Fashion, n. A despot whom the wise ridicule and obey.

DEINOTHERIUM, n. An extinct pachyderm that flourished when the Pterodactyl was in fashion. The latter was a native of Ireland, its name being pronounced Terry Dactyl or Peter O'Dactyl, as the man pronouncing it may chance to have heard it spoken or seen it printed.

MONKEY, n. An arboreal animal which makes itself at home in genealogical trees.

Heathen, n. A benighted creature who has the folly to worship something that he can see and feel.

POLITICIAN, n. An eel in the fundamental mud upon which the superstructure of organized society is reared. When he wriggles, he mistakes the agitation of his tail for the trembling of the edifice.

A popular writer writes about what people think. A wise writer offers them something to think about.