NEWTONIAN, Pertaining to a philosophy of the universe invented by Newton, who discovered that an apple will fall to the ground, but was unable to say why. His successors and disciples have advanced so far as to be able to say when.

Painting, n.: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather, and exposing them to the critic.

WEAKNESSES, n.pl. Certain primal powers of Tyrant Woman wherewith she holds dominion over the male of her species, binding him to the service of her will and paralyzing his rebellious energies.

Contempt; the feeling of a prudent man for an enemy who is too formidable safely to be opposed.

RUIN, v. To destroy. Specifically, to destroy a maid's belief in the virtue of maids.

Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.

HERMIT, n. A person whose vices and follies are not sociable.