Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.

Day, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent.

Duty - that which sternly impels us in the direction of profit, along the line of desire.

A book which the Mohammedans foolishly believe to have been written by divine inspiration, but which Christians know to be a wicked imposture, contradictory to the Holy Scriptures.

Vote: the instrument and symbol of a freeman's power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.

Definition: CONNOISSEUR, n. A specialist who knows everything about something and nothing about anything else.

Christian, n.: one who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor.