Hippogriff, n. An animal (now extinct) which was half horse and half griffin. The griffin was itself a compound creature, half lion and half eagle. The hippogriff was actually, therefore, only one-quarter eagle, which is two dollars and fifty cents in gold. The study of zoology is full of surprises.

PRESIDENCY, n. The greased pig in the field game of American politics.

Wit - the salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out.

ARENA, n. In politics, an imaginary rat-pit in which the statesman wrestles with his record.

STORY, n. A narrative, commonly untrue. The truth of the stories here following has, however, not been successfully impeached.

Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.

Think twice before you speak to a friend in need