PRIVATE, n. A military gentleman with a field-marshal's baton in his knapsack and an impediment in his hope.
MOUSE, n. An animal which strews its path with fainting women.
DECALOGUE, n. A series of commandments, ten in number - just enough to permit an intelligent selection for observance, but not enough to embarrass the choice.
Learning, n. The kind of ignorance distinguishing the studious.
Knowledge is the small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify.
MONUMENT, n. A structure intended to commemorate something which either needs no commemoration or cannot be commemorated.