RESPIRATOR, n. An apparatus fitted over the nose and mouth of an inhabitant of London, whereby to filter the visible universe in its passage to the lungs.

Liberty: One of Imagination's most precious possessions.

MONKEY, n. An arboreal animal which makes itself at home in genealogical trees.

A man is the sum of his ancestors; to reform him you must begin with a dead ape and work downward through a million graves.

ACCUSE, v.t. To affirm another's guilt or unworth; most commonly as a justification of ourselves for having wronged him.

TRICHINOSIS, n. The pig's reply to proponents of porcophagy.

PRESBYTERIAN, n. One who holds the conviction that the government authorities of the Church should be called presbyters.