Insurance - an ingenious modern game of chance in which the player is permitted to enjoy the comfortable conviction that he is beating the man who keeps the table.

Bigot: One who is obstinately and zealously attached to an opinion that you do not entertain.

NEWTONIAN, Pertaining to a philosophy of the universe invented by Newton, who discovered that an apple will fall to the ground, but was unable to say why. His successors and disciples have advanced so far as to be able to say when.

Take not God's name in vain; select a time when it will have effect.

Infidel, n. In New York, one who does not believe in the Christian religion; in Constantinople, one who does.

IGNORAMUS, n. A person unacquainted with certain kinds of knowledge familiar to yourself, and having certain other kinds that you know nothing about.

Learning, n. The kind of ignorance distinguishing the studious.