Introduction - a social ceremony invented by the devil for the gratification of his servants and the plaguing of his enemies.

EXHORT, v.t. In religious affairs, to put the conscience of another upon the spit and roast it to a nut-brown discomfort.

Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.

BAIT, n. A preparation that renders the hook more palatable. The best kind is beauty.

MOUSE, n. An animal which strews its path with fainting women.

TZETZE (or TSETSE) FLY, n. An African insect ("Glossina morsitans") whose bite is commonly regarded as nature's most efficacious remedy for insomnia, though some patients prefer that of the American novelist ("Mendax interminabilis").

MONSIGNOR- A high ecclesiastical title, of which the Founder of our religion overlooked the advantages.