Introduction - a social ceremony invented by the devil for the gratification of his servants and the plaguing of his enemies.

FLAG, n. A colored rag borne above troops and hoisted on forts and ships. It appears to serve the same purpose as certain signs that one sees and vacant lots in London

Knowledge is the small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify.

REALISM, n. The art of depicting nature as it is seem by toads. The charm suffusing a landscape painted by a mole, or a story written by a measuring-worm.

R.I.P. A careless abbreviation of "requiescat in pace", attesting to indolent goodwill to the dead. According to the learned Dr. Drigge, however, the letters originally meant nothing more than "reductus in pulvis".

Consult: To seek approval for a course of action already decided upon.

Road, n. A strip of land along which one may pass from where it is too tiresome to be to where it is futile to go.