ZOOLOGY, n. The science and history of the animal kingdom, including its king, the House Fly ("Musca maledicta"). The father of Zoology was Aristotle, as is universally conceded, but the name of its mother has not come down to us.

Rum, n. Generically, fiery liquors that produce madness in total abstainers.

Backbite: To ''speak of a man as you find him'' when he can't find you.

To seek a justification for a decision already made.

SCARABAEUS, n. The sacred beetle of the ancient Egyptians, allied to our familiar "tumble-bug." It was supposed to symbolize immortality, the fact that God knew why giving it its peculiar sanctity.

Present, n. That part of eternity dividing the domain of disappointment from the realm of hope.

BEG, v. To ask for something with an earnestness proportioned to the belief that it will not be given.