Painting, n.: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather, and exposing them to the critic.

PIANO, n. A parlor utensil for subduing the impenitent visitor. It is operated by depressing the keys of the machine and the spirits of the audience.

PUSH, n. One of the two things mainly conducive to success, especially in politics. The other is Pull.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

The Senate is a body of old men charged with high duties and misdemeanors.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

CAVILER, n. A critic of our own work.