Painting, n.: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather, and exposing them to the critic.

LOVE, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage or by removal of the patient from the influences under which he incurred the disorder.

Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.

SCARABAEUS, n. The sacred beetle of the ancient Egyptians, allied to our familiar "tumble-bug." It was supposed to symbolize immortality, the fact that God knew why giving it its peculiar sanctity.

Appetite, n. An instinct thoughtfully implanted by Providence as a solution to the labor question.

GUNPOWDER, n. An agency employed by civilized nations for the settlement of disputes which might become troublesome if left unadjusted. By most writers the invention of gunpowder is ascribed to the Chinese, but not upon very convincing evidence. Milton says it was invented by the devil to dispel angels with, and this opinion seems to derive some support from the scarcity of angels.

YESTERDAY, n. The infancy of youth, the youth of manhood, the entire past of age.