A popular writer writes about what people think. A wise writer offers them something to think about.

Kindness n: A brief preface to ten volumes of exaction.

Calamities are of two kinds: misfortunes to ourselves, and good fortune to others.

WINE, n.Fermented grape-juice known to the Women's Christian Union as "liquor," sometimes as "rum." Wine, madam, is God's next best gift to man.

Road, n. A strip of land along which one may pass from where it is too tiresome to be to where it is futile to go.

FINANCE, n. The art or science of managing revenues and resources for the best advantage of the manager. The pronunciation of this word with the i long and the accent on the first syllable is one of America's most precious discoveries and possessions.

BODY-SNATCHER, n. A robber of grave-worms. One who supplies the young physicians with that with which the old physicians have supplied the undertaker.