Kindness n: A brief preface to ten volumes of exaction.

An egotist is a person of low taste - more interested in himself than in me.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Male, A member of the unconsidered or negligible gender. The male of the human race is commonly known to the female as Mere Man. The Genus has two varieties: good providers and bad providers.

PIE, n. An advance agent of the reaper whose name is Indigestion.

A hollow edifice erected for the habitation of man, rat, mouse, beetle, cockroach, fly, mosquito, flea, bacillus, and microbe.

RADICALISM, n. The conservatism of to-morrow injected into the affairs of to-day.