Kindness n: A brief preface to ten volumes of exaction.

PERFECTION, n. An imaginary state of quality distinguished from the actual by an element known as excellence; an attribute of the critic.

CLERGYMAN, n. A man who undertakes the management of our spiritual affairs as a method of better his temporal ones.

PRICE, n. Value, plus a reasonable sum for the wear and tear of conscience in demanding it.

ACCUSE, v.t. To affirm another's guilt or unworth; most commonly as a justification of ourselves for having wronged him.

QUORUM, n. A sufficient number of members of a deliberative body to have their own way and their own way of having it. In the U.S. Senate a quorum consists of the chairman of the Committee on Finance and a messenger from the White House.

Conversation, n.: A vocal competition in which the one who is catching his breath is called the listener.