SARCOPHAGUS, n. Among the Greeks a coffin which being made of a certain kind of carnivorous stone, had the peculiar property of devouring the body placed in it.

Respectability, n. The offspring of a liaison between a bald head and a bank account.

Distress: A disease incurred by exposure to the prosperity of a friend.

Perseverance - a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.

PICKANINNY, n. The young of the "Procyanthropos", or "Americanus dominans". It is small, black and charged with political fatalities.

Creditor. One of a tribe of savages dwelling beyond the Financial Straits and dreaded for their desolating incursions.

KING, n. A male person commonly known in America as a "crowned head," although he never wears a crown and has usually no head to speak of.