Anoint, v.: To grease a king or other great functionary already sufficiently slippery.

HEART, n. Figuratively, this useful organ is said to be the seat of emotions and sentiments . . . . It is now known that sentiments and emotions reside in the stomach, being evolved from food by chemical action of the gastric fluid.

Curiosity, n. An objectionable quality of the female mind. The desire to know whether or not a woman is cursed with curiosity is one of the most active and insatiable passions of the masculine soul.

Road, n. A strip of land along which one may pass from where it is too tiresome to be to where it is futile to go.

Religions are conclusions for which the facts of nature supply no major premises.

Immigrant: An unenlightened person who thinks one country better than another.

HURRICANE, n. An atmospheric demonstration once very common but now generally abandoned for the tornado and cyclone. The hurricane is still in popular use in the West Indies and is preferred by certain old- fashioned sea-captains.