COMMERCE, n. A kind of transaction in which A plunders from B the goods of C, and for compensation B picks the pocket of D of money belonging to E.

MONUMENT, n. A structure intended to commemorate something which either needs no commemoration or cannot be commemorated.

A lottery is a tax on stupidity.

RIMER, n. A poet regarded with indifference or disesteem.

A modern school where football is taught.

Hash, x. There is no definition for this word - nobody knows what hash is. Famous, adj. Conspicuously miserable. Dictionary, n. A malevolent literary device for cramping the growth of a language and making it hard and inelastic. This dictionary, however, is a most useful work.

PATRIOT, n. One to whom the interests of a part seem superior to those of the whole. The dupe of statesmen and the tool of conquerors.