READING, n. The general body of what one reads. In our country it consists, as a rule, of Indiana novels, short stories in "dialect" and humor in slang.

POETRY, n. A form of expression peculiar to the Land beyond the Magazines.

PENITENT, adj. Undergoing or awaiting punishment.

Rhubarb: essence of stomach ache.

WINE, n.Fermented grape-juice known to the Women's Christian Union as "liquor," sometimes as "rum." Wine, madam, is God's next best gift to man.

The best kind of onion soup is the simplest kind.

Heathen, n. A benighted creature who has the folly to worship something that he can see and feel.