PHILISTINE, n. One whose mind is the creature of its environment, following the fashion in thought, feeling and sentiment. He is sometimes learned, frequently prosperous, commonly clean and always solemn.

PROVIDENTIAL, adj. Unexpectedly and conspicuously beneficial to the person so describing it.

Democracy is four wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch.

Laziness. Unwarranted repose of manner in a person of low degree.

Fear has no brains; it is an idiot. The dismal witness that it bears and the cowardly counsel that it whispers are unrelated.

RESPIRATOR, n. An apparatus fitted over the nose and mouth of an inhabitant of London, whereby to filter the visible universe in its passage to the lungs.

Introduction - a social ceremony invented by the devil for the gratification of his servants and the plaguing of his enemies.