MUGWUMP, n. In politics one afflicted with self-respect and addicted to the vice of independence. A term of contempt.

Curiosity, n. An objectionable quality of the female mind. The desire to know whether or not a woman is cursed with curiosity is one of the most active and insatiable passions of the masculine soul.

NEIGHBOR, n. One whom we are commanded to love as ourselves, and who does all he knows how to make us disobedient.

The quality that distinguishes love without knowledge.

Enthusiasm - a distemper of youth, curable by small doses of repentance in connection with outward applications of experience.

UBIQUITY, n. The gift or power of being in all places at one time, but not in all places at all times, which is omnipresence, an attribute of God and the luminiferous ether only.

PHYSICIAN, n. One upon whom we set our hopes when ill and our dogs when well.