MUGWUMP, n. In politics one afflicted with self-respect and addicted to the vice of independence. A term of contempt.

Laughter, n. An interior convulsion, producing a distortion of the features and accompanied by inarticulate noises. It is infectious and, though intermittent, incurable.

PERFECTION, n. An imaginary state of quality distinguished from the actual by an element known as excellence; an attribute of the critic.

ART, n. This word has no definition. Its origin is related by the ingenious Father Gassalasca Jape as "One day a wag - what would the wretch be at? Shifted a letter of the cipher RAT, And said it was a god's name! . . ."

If you want to read a perfect book there is only one way: write it.

Nothing is more logical than persecution. Religious tolerance is a kind of infidelity.

The world has suffered more from the ravages of ill-advised marriages than from virginity.